Is This The Last Time?

Is This The Last Time?

When I was younger, think graduating high school senior or freshman in college,  I had the sense of almost infinite options and directions my life could take.  I also had a sense that I had vast oceans of time to play with.  Many years have gone by.  Now, I have kids that are experiencing that same sense of limitless possibility, but, for me, that sense has long vanished.  Friends with cancer, aging parents, and prostate exams make clear the reality that, if life is a like a sports game, the halftime show has come and gone. My time on this earth that once seemed infinite is now finite.

Although sometimes I find myself ruminating unproductively on how short life really is, there is some benefit to be reaped from such a change in perspective.  In the movieBiutiful (English Subtitled), the main character’s life is a mess. He resorts to minor crime to make a meager living, has a wife who is bipolar, and is raising their two young children by himself.  When he is diagnosed with cancer and given very little time to live, his perspective changes dramatically, and he tries to make a difference with the time that he has.

In my post, Advice for a Famous Friend, I discuss the way that recognition of our own mortality can be a catalyst for positive action. In my own life,  the latin phrase “memento mori” which means “remember that you will die” has been a motivator to attempt to live each day well.   The painting above was intended to be a reminder of this concept.

Recently, I considered writing a song entitled “Is This the Last Time?” which would revolve around the idea that we never know when the last time will be that we do something we enjoy or talk to someone we love.  It makes sense that the quality of our moments and interactions in life would increase if we treasured them as if we only had one shot.  I chose instead to write a song with a more positive spin.  It is called “Like the First Time”, a love song that suggests that each moment in a relationship has the potential of containing the beauty and mystery of a first experience.

Thanks so much for reading, my friend.  I hope you enjoy the song and these thoughts.  I always enjoy your feedback so feel free to comment below!

Listen to “Like the First Time”

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Like The First Time Lyrics

Like the first time I walked barefoot in the grass.
Like the first time I felt raindrops on my face
Like the first time that the sunlight warmed my skin.
I watch you sleep beside me, like the first time

Like the first time the snowfall capped the mountains white.
Like the first time that the moon came out to light a traveler’s way
Like the first time that the morning conquered night.
We walk hand in hand, like the first time

Just like the first time, I see the future in your eyes.
Your body’s like a drug to me; there is no compromise
When my enemies imprisoned me,
you made the walls come tumbling down.
You saved me from destruction, like the first time

Like the first time a mother heard her baby’s cry.
Like the first time a father gave his little girl away
Like the first time two lovers said their last good bye.
I feel your lips touch mine, like the first time

Just like the first time, I see the future in your eyes.
Believe that there are answers to the questions,
that there is hope behind the lies.
As I look back at how far we’ve come and weariness sets in,
I would do it all again, like the first time.
I would do it all again, like the first time

© 2016, Jordi Baizan


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